When Confidence Gets Mistaken for Arrogance

 

Somewhere along the way, confidence became suspicious.

If you stand tall, speak clearly, enjoy your life, and don’t apologize for existing, there’s a good chance someone will label you arrogant. Not because you are—but because your assurance makes them uncomfortable.

We live in a time where self-doubt is rewarded and strength is quietly shamed. Where humility is often confused with shrinking yourself, and confidence is treated like a character flaw. Meanwhile, weak men—men without direction, discipline, or purpose—are everywhere, and they’re loud about wanting everyone else to lower the bar to meet them.

Let me add some context.

I’m a short Puerto Rican from the Bronx.

Where I grew up, confidence wasn’t a personality trait—it was survival. And being short made it even harder. You didn’t get automatic respect. You earned it through presence, awareness, and knowing exactly who you were. You learned how to carry yourself, how to speak with clarity, how to stand your ground without looking for permission.

If you didn’t develop strength—mental, emotional, and internal—you didn’t last long.

Only the weak failed.
Not because they were bad people—but because hesitation, self-pity, and fear got you swallowed up.

So when I show confidence today, it isn’t an act. It’s not arrogance. It’s residue from a life where you had to know who you were, or someone else would decide it for you.

That kind of confidence doesn’t disappear just because the environment changes.

Confidence is not arrogance.

Arrogance is rooted in insecurity. Confidence is rooted in self-knowledge.

A confident person doesn’t need to dominate a room. They don’t need to prove themselves. They don’t tear others down. They simply are—comfortable in their skin, aligned with their values, and unafraid to enjoy the life they’ve worked for.

Arrogance says, “I’m better than you.”
Confidence says, “I know who I am.”

And that difference matters.

When you’ve done the work—when you’ve failed, gotten back up, stayed disciplined, provided for your family, created something meaningful, or simply refused to quit—you earn a certain calm assurance. That assurance isn’t loud, but it’s noticeable. And for some people, especially those avoiding responsibility, it’s threatening.

So they label it.
They mock it.
They try to humble you.

But what they’re really asking is for you to dim your light so they don’t have to confront their own shadows.

Don’t do it.

Do not apologize for enjoying your life.
Do not apologize for speaking with certainty.
Do not apologize for believing in yourself.

Confidence is not something you perform for others—it’s something you live.

Three Ways to Increase Your Confidence (Without Becoming Arrogant)

1. Keep the promises you make to yourself
   Confidence grows when your actions align with your words. Start small. Get up when you say you will. Finish what you start. Discipline builds trust with yourself, and self-trust becomes confidence.

2. Build real competence
   Learn a skill. Get better at your craft. Put in the reps. Confidence that’s earned through effort can’t be shaken by opinions. When you know you’ve done the work, outside noise loses its power.

3. Stop outsourcing your self-worth
   Likes, approval, and validation are fragile foundations. Decide who you are and live accordingly. When your standards come from within, confidence becomes steady instead of performative.

Confidence doesn’t need permission.
It doesn’t need applause.
And it certainly doesn’t need to apologize.

Stand tall—even if you’re not tall.
Especially if you come from a place that taught you strength wasn’t optional.

You’ve got living to do.

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If you want, this would hit hard as:

• a 60–90 second spoken video,

• an opening monologue for your show,

• or a carousel post broken into punchy quotes.

Just tell me the format and I’ll tailor it.

Choosing Positivity In A Negative Environment

There is something incredibly powerful about choosing to live a positive life. Positivity isn’t about ignoring reality or pretending problems don’t exist—it’s about believing that solutions do. When you lead with that mindset, opportunities begin to reveal themselves in ways you might never expect. Doors open, conversations shift, and possibilities appear where once there were only obstacles.

A positive outlook sharpens your vision. Instead of being paralyzed by what’s wrong, you become energized by what could be right. Challenges turn into lessons. Setbacks become stepping stones. When you believe that progress is possible, you naturally take actions that move you forward. People are drawn to that energy. Collaboration grows. Momentum builds. Positivity creates motion, and motion creates opportunity.

On the other hand, constant negativity has a quiet but destructive power. Being around people who only see problems—and never solutions—can slowly drain your spirit. Their conversations are rooted in fear, blame, and limitation. Over time, that mindset can seep into your thinking if you’re not careful. You may start doubting yourself, hesitating to take risks, or believing that success is always out of reach. Negativity doesn’t usually attack all at once; it erodes confidence one thought at a time.

This doesn’t mean abandoning people or pretending struggles don’t matter. It means protecting your mindset. You can acknowledge problems without living in them. You can listen without absorbing defeat. The key is choosing where you place your focus and whose voice you allow to shape your outlook.

When you choose positivity, you choose growth. You choose resilience. You choose to believe that life has more to offer and that you have something valuable to contribute. Opportunities flourish in that space—because optimism fuels action, and action changes everything.

In the end, positivity is a decision you make every day. Choose it wisely, nurture it intentionally, and surround yourself with people who look for solutions, not just problems. Your future depends on it. JHS

Films, Music, Digital Marketing, and Helping Artists Thrive!

Hey everyone, John Henry Soto here! I wanted to take a moment to share what I’ve been up to lately because there’s a lot happening across my world of film, music, digital marketing, and artist management.

Filmmaking & Storytelling
Film has always been at the center of my creative journey. From my last film, And On That Day, which screened at festivals like the Manhattan Film Festival, Tennessee Film Festival, and The Golden Door Festival, I’ve been diving deeper into projects that tell meaningful stories. My newest film is almost at the casting stage, and I can’t wait to share more about it soon. I’m passionate about making films that resonate with people while also exploring new, exciting stories across genres—including sketches, original series ideas, and even concepts for game shows.

Digital Marketing, Social Media & JHS Talent Management
Over the last 10+ years, I’ve built my expertise in digital marketing, which is now fueling my work with JHS Talent Management. Helping filmmakers and musicians fund their projects through digital marketing is a huge passion of mine. My team and I focus on building smart, effective campaigns while also creating content that inspires and motivates our community.

Before fully diving into JHS Talent Management, I worked with the National Health Care for the Homeless Council as their Media & Tech Manager and Social Media lead. That experience taught me a lot about connecting with communities, managing communications at a national level, and using media to make a real difference—skills I carry into everything I do today.

Livestreams & Community Engagement
I host The John Henry Soto Show, where I’ve had the privilege of interviewing hundreds of guests—including Rock and Roll Hall of Fame musicians, award-winning filmmakers, and business leaders. The show is a space for motivation, education, and honest conversation, and I love bringing that energy to my audience. My livestreams also give viewers an inside look at my creative process, upcoming projects, and the mindset I use to keep moving forward every day.

Philosophy & Personal Goals
Beyond work, I’m focused on living a balanced, intentional life. From homeschooling my kids and building a nurturing home environment to planning long-term goals like buying land and creating a media center, I aim to show that freedom is more than just money—it’s about having time, creativity, and control over your life. I also give back through initiatives like The Way to Happiness local chapter, spreading common sense principles for better living.

Music & Scoring
Music has always been a huge part of my life. From playing guitar—thanks to the gift from my grandfather—to performing in my band Glass of Know, music drives much of my creative expression. Lately, I’ve been diving into scoring for film and television, which has opened up a whole new world for me. Scoring to picture is not just fun—it feels like the perfect mix of my love for storytelling and my musical background. I also love working with other artists to help bring their music into projects and sync opportunities.

What’s Next
There’s a lot on the horizon: new films, more scoring projects, growing JHS Talent Management, and collaborating with artists in Nashville and beyond. I’m constantly looking for ways to help others succeed while pursuing my own creative passions.

If you’re an artist, filmmaker, musician, or anyone looking to create and grow, I hope you’ll follow along, connect, and maybe even collaborate. The journey is always better when we lift each other up.

www.johnhenrysoto.com
www.jhstalentmanagement.com