When Confidence Gets Mistaken for Arrogance

 

Somewhere along the way, confidence became suspicious.

If you stand tall, speak clearly, enjoy your life, and don’t apologize for existing, there’s a good chance someone will label you arrogant. Not because you are—but because your assurance makes them uncomfortable.

We live in a time where self-doubt is rewarded and strength is quietly shamed. Where humility is often confused with shrinking yourself, and confidence is treated like a character flaw. Meanwhile, weak men—men without direction, discipline, or purpose—are everywhere, and they’re loud about wanting everyone else to lower the bar to meet them.

Let me add some context.

I’m a short Puerto Rican from the Bronx.

Where I grew up, confidence wasn’t a personality trait—it was survival. And being short made it even harder. You didn’t get automatic respect. You earned it through presence, awareness, and knowing exactly who you were. You learned how to carry yourself, how to speak with clarity, how to stand your ground without looking for permission.

If you didn’t develop strength—mental, emotional, and internal—you didn’t last long.

Only the weak failed.
Not because they were bad people—but because hesitation, self-pity, and fear got you swallowed up.

So when I show confidence today, it isn’t an act. It’s not arrogance. It’s residue from a life where you had to know who you were, or someone else would decide it for you.

That kind of confidence doesn’t disappear just because the environment changes.

Confidence is not arrogance.

Arrogance is rooted in insecurity. Confidence is rooted in self-knowledge.

A confident person doesn’t need to dominate a room. They don’t need to prove themselves. They don’t tear others down. They simply are—comfortable in their skin, aligned with their values, and unafraid to enjoy the life they’ve worked for.

Arrogance says, “I’m better than you.”
Confidence says, “I know who I am.”

And that difference matters.

When you’ve done the work—when you’ve failed, gotten back up, stayed disciplined, provided for your family, created something meaningful, or simply refused to quit—you earn a certain calm assurance. That assurance isn’t loud, but it’s noticeable. And for some people, especially those avoiding responsibility, it’s threatening.

So they label it.
They mock it.
They try to humble you.

But what they’re really asking is for you to dim your light so they don’t have to confront their own shadows.

Don’t do it.

Do not apologize for enjoying your life.
Do not apologize for speaking with certainty.
Do not apologize for believing in yourself.

Confidence is not something you perform for others—it’s something you live.

Three Ways to Increase Your Confidence (Without Becoming Arrogant)

1. Keep the promises you make to yourself
   Confidence grows when your actions align with your words. Start small. Get up when you say you will. Finish what you start. Discipline builds trust with yourself, and self-trust becomes confidence.

2. Build real competence
   Learn a skill. Get better at your craft. Put in the reps. Confidence that’s earned through effort can’t be shaken by opinions. When you know you’ve done the work, outside noise loses its power.

3. Stop outsourcing your self-worth
   Likes, approval, and validation are fragile foundations. Decide who you are and live accordingly. When your standards come from within, confidence becomes steady instead of performative.

Confidence doesn’t need permission.
It doesn’t need applause.
And it certainly doesn’t need to apologize.

Stand tall—even if you’re not tall.
Especially if you come from a place that taught you strength wasn’t optional.

You’ve got living to do.

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If you want, this would hit hard as:

• a 60–90 second spoken video,

• an opening monologue for your show,

• or a carousel post broken into punchy quotes.

Just tell me the format and I’ll tailor it.

Filmmaking Truth: Lessons, Mistakes & Motivation from The John Henry Soto Show!

Every morning at 9 AM Central, for the past two months, I’ve been showing up to talk about the one thing that has defined so much of my life—film. What started as a way to keep myself accountable and share a little knowledge has grown into something much more meaningful: a space where filmmakers (and aspiring creatives) can learn the real ins and outs of the business—and maybe even avoid some of the mistakes I made.

The Real Behind-the-Scenes

Film isn’t just red carpets and final cuts. It’s hard drives crashing, money running out, last-minute actor cancellations, and “creative differences” that feel anything but creative. On the show, I don’t sugarcoat it. I talk about:

• What not to do when starting a project

• Where filmmakers waste time and money

• The importance of building a strong team (and knowing when to let someone go)

• Why storytelling beats fancy gear every single time

Each episode is designed to offer actionable advice—whether you’re in pre-production, trying to sell a script, or wondering why your short film hasn’t gotten into any festivals.

Staying Motivated in a Brutal Industry

Let’s be real. This business can be soul-crushing. That’s why I always include a segment on staying inspired and focused. I’ve been in the game long enough to know that motivation isn’t something you find—it’s something you build. And I share the exact steps I take to keep showing up creatively, mentally, and emotionally, even when the wins feel far apart.

Some of those keys:

• Having a strong "why"

• Creating daily rituals that support the dream

• Talking openly about burnout, fear, and doubt

• Celebrating small wins (like finishing a script draft or submitting to a festival)

Why I Do This Every Morning

There’s something powerful about doing the show at 9AM—before the noise of the day creeps in. It’s my way of saying, “This matters.” Whether 1 person watches or 1,000, I’m showing up because I know someone out there needs to hear this today.

I’ve made a lot of mistakes in this business. I’ve also had wins. This show is my chance to pass on what works, warn about what doesn’t, and encourage anyone with a story to tell to keep going.

Because your voice matters. Your film matters. And if I can help you bring it to life, even a little bit, then every 9AM wake-up has been worth it.

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If you’ve missed any episodes, or want to tune in and make sure to follow me on Rumble and Social Media. Got questions? Drop them in the comments or message me—I might just cover it on the next show.

Let’s make something great together. 🎥

 https://rumble.com/c/TheJohnHenrySotoShow

Sequels, Reboots, and CGI-Driven Spectacles! STOP IT!!!

In an industry often dominated by sequels, reboots, and CGI-driven spectacles, a quiet revolution has been taking place—one that signals the triumphant return of authentic storytelling in cinema. Audiences, perhaps fatigued by formulaic blockbusters, are gravitating toward films that offer originality, emotional resonance, and character-driven narratives. Two standout examples of this shift are Everything Everywhere All At Once and The Holdovers, both of which not only broke through the noise with fresh perspectives but also achieved critical and commercial success. These films remind us that, at its core, cinema is still a storyteller’s art.

In recent years, storytelling has made a powerful return to the forefront of filmmaking, as audiences increasingly crave narratives with emotional depth, originality, and character-driven arcs. This shift marks a departure from the heavy reliance on sequels, reboots, and CGI-heavy spectacles. Films like Everything Everywhere All At Once (2022) exemplify this trend, blending sci-fi, drama, and absurdist comedy to tell a profoundly human story about identity, family, and purpose. Made on a relatively modest budget, the film became a surprise box office success and swept the 2023 Oscars, winning Best Picture, Best Director, and multiple acting awards—proving that originality and storytelling can resonate deeply with global audiences.

Another standout is The Holdovers (2023), directed by Alexander Payne, which brought audiences a warm, character-focused holiday film that felt both classic and refreshing. Featuring Paul Giamatti in a quietly powerful role, the movie earned critical acclaim and audience admiration for its sharp writing, emotional sincerity, and timeless themes of loneliness and connection. Both films succeeded not by relying on massive franchises or flashy effects but by embracing authentic storytelling—demonstrating that well-crafted, original narratives can still captivate audiences and achieve both critical and commercial success.

The Similarities Between The Borg and The Main Stream Media! No Seriously!!

On the next episode of The John Henry Soto Show, we’re diving into a hilarious but strangely accurate comparison between the Star Trek Borg and the mainstream media. Ever notice how every news outlet seems to say the exact same thing, almost as if they’re part of some giant collective? Well, that’s because they basically are! Just like the Borg travel the galaxy assimilating civilizations and wiping out individuality, the media operates with a hive-mind mentality, ensuring that every talking head repeats the same scripted lines, word for word. Resistance is futile—unless, of course, you enjoy being labeled as someone who "questions the narrative" (which, in Borg terms, is basically an act of rebellion).

Even the way they communicate feels like it was pulled straight from a Borg Cube. The media has its own version of “You will be assimilated,” except instead of using cybernetic implants, they use carefully crafted buzzwords that suddenly appear everywhere overnight. Tune into any major network, and you’ll hear the same phrases repeated with robotic precision, as if they all got a direct uplink from the same control center. It’s like watching a room full of drones all operating under one consciousness, reinforcing the same ideas while shutting down any dissenting voices. The moment you step outside the collective narrative, alarms go off, and the media Borg work overtime to reprogram—or cancel—you back into submission.

Of course, the biggest difference between the Borg and the media is that at least the Borg are honest about their intentions. They don’t pretend they’re giving you "objective" information while subtly guiding you toward complete assimilation. No, the Borg show up, announce their plan, and get to work. The media, on the other hand, smiles at you, assures you they’re looking out for your best interests, and then subtly makes sure you never question anything outside of their carefully constructed reality. But hey, at least the Borg don’t have commercials every five minutes! Tune in to the next show as we break this all down with humor, insight, and maybe even a little Star Trek trivia!

Casting Adventures: How Did We Find the Right People for the Story?

 

Casting And On That Day was an adventure filled with unexpected twists, gut decisions, and moments of pure cinematic fate. Since the film was inspired by a real-life event, we knew we needed actors who could bring raw authenticity to the roles. We held traditional auditions, but we also kept an open mind for talent in unexpected places. One of our lead actors was discovered during a local theater performance—we saw them on stage, felt their presence, and knew instantly they were perfect for the film. Some actors nailed their auditions in ways we never expected, while others surprised us by interpreting the characters in ways we hadn’t considered. It was less about finding actors who simply fit the roles and more about discovering individuals who truly understood the story on a personal level.

One of the most surprising moments came when an actor showed up looking completely different from their headshot—so much so that we almost didn’t recognize them. But the second they started reading, they transformed into the character in a way that was undeniable. We ended up rewriting a role just to fit them into the film. That’s the beauty of casting—sometimes, the right person walks in, and you just know. By the time we had our final cast, it didn’t feel like a group of strangers coming together for a project; it felt like a family. They weren’t just reading lines—they were living the emotions, bringing depth to the story in ways that made every challenge we faced in casting completely worth it.

My Film On Rumble for the very first time!

I'm incredibly proud and excited to premiere And On That Day on Rumble for the very first time! This film has been a labor of love, and its journey through the festival circuit has been nothing short of amazing. From the Manhattan Film Festival to The Tennessee Film Festival and The Golden Door Festival, plus others, the response and support have been truly humbling. Seeing this story resonate with audiences in such meaningful ways has been an incredible experience. 

Rumble is an exciting platform and I’m thrilled to share And On That Day with a whole new audience.

As I look ahead, I'm eager to dive into my next project and continue telling powerful stories. If you have a project that needs a passionate filmmaker, let’s connect! Whether it's film, music, or creative storytelling, I’m always looking for new opportunities to collaborate and bring meaningful projects to life. Thank you all for your continued support—this is just the beginning!

Beyond my own work, I have a deep passion for supporting and assisting other filmmakers in bringing their visions to life. Whether it’s through storytelling guidance, production insights, or digital marketing strategies to help fund and promote projects, I love being part of the creative process in any way I can. Filmmaking is a collaborative art, and I believe that by helping each other, we can build a stronger independent film community. If you have a project you’re working on or need guidance on, reach out—I’d love to see how I can help!

Advice for Filmmaker - Counterparts Show

As a filmmaker, you have the ability to bring stories to life and inspire audiences through your work. Whether you are just starting out or are a seasoned professional, there are some tips and tricks that can help you take your filmmaking to the next level. In this blog, I'll discuss some of the most important pieces of advice for filmmakers of all levels and then we'll listen to William Wayne's advice for filmmakers. 

1. Know your story

Before you start filming, it’s important to have a clear understanding of the story you want to tell. This means knowing the characters, the setting, and the overall theme of the film. Take the time to develop a solid script or treatment that you can use as a guide during the production process.

2. Plan your shots

Once you have a clear idea of the story you want to tell, it’s time to start planning your shots. This means thinking about the angles, the lighting, and the movement of the camera. By planning your shots in advance, you can ensure that you capture the story in the way you envision it.

3. Be prepared

Filmmaking is a complex and demanding process, so it’s important to be prepared for every eventuality. This means having backup equipment, extra batteries, and all the supplies you need on set. It also means being ready for unexpected challenges, such as weather changes or technical difficulties.

4. Experiment with Different Techniques

Filmmaking is an art form, and there is always room for experimentation. Don’t be afraid to try new techniques or approaches to tell your story. Whether it’s using unconventional camera angles, trying out new lighting setups, or incorporating special effects, experimenting can lead to creative and innovative results.

4.  Collaborate with others

Filmmaking is a collaborative process, and working with others can help you achieve better results. This could be working with a talented cast, a skilled crew, or collaborating with other filmmakers to create something truly unique. Surrounding yourself with people who have different skills and perspectives can help you bring your vision to life.

5.  Embrace technology

Technology is constantly evolving in the world of filmmaking, and it’s important to keep up with the latest developments. From new cameras and editing software to virtual reality and augmented reality, there are many tools that can help you bring your stories to life in new and innovative ways.

6.  Stay inspired

Finally, it’s important to stay inspired as a filmmaker. This means watching films, reading books, and exposing yourself to new ideas and perspectives. By staying inspired, you can keep your creativity flowing and continue to push the boundaries of what is possible in filmmaking.

In conclusion, filmmaking is a challenging and rewarding art form that requires dedication, creativity, and a commitment to storytelling. By following these tips and tricks, you can take your filmmaking to the next level and bring your vision to life.  www.johnhenrysoto.com

Listen to William Wayne's advice to filmmakers!  www.lostangelas.com

Just keep Creating with Filmmaker William Wayne

William Wayne is a filmmaker who, like many of us in the industry, struggled to make it in the competitive world of filmmaking, but now he can celebrate his success with his film, Lost Angelas. Now streaming on Amazon Prime.  Visit www.lostangelas.com to learn more about his film.

Despite facing numerous obstacles and rejections, William's perseverance and talent have made him one of the inspiring stories to follow in the world of filmmaking.

William's journey began with a passion for film while enjoying them with his parents.  He started working in front of the camera and then decided to jump into the writer's chair and pen his story. He first made short films but then dove into his feature, Lost Angelas.  Acceptance is always a constant issue in this business, as film festivals repeatedly turned down his film.  But William was not deterred, as he continued to work on his craft by accepting the advice he was given from the festivals and getting the film to where it was accepted.  He developed his skills and explored new creative avenues along the way.

William's talent and persistence began to pay off. His short films and his newest feature gained recognition, attracting the attention of the prestigious festival, Film Threat, where William won Best Director and Best Indie Film (Made Under 100K) in 2020.  The film was a critical success setting William on the path to a great future in film. 

William's story is a testament to the power of perseverance and determination. Despite the odds and rejections, he never gave up on his dream of becoming a filmmaker. Today, he is celebrated for his contributions and is increasing his status as a leading figure in the world of filmmaking.  

Watch our interview with William Wayne here and visit our site www.counterpartsshow.com for all the past episodes.