Marry An Artist! Divorce An Artist! This One Is Tough!

Marriage is a wild ride no matter who you are, but when an artist and a non-artist come together, it's like putting a jazz musician and a classical pianist in the same band—beautiful, but full of unexpected notes. Artists live in a world of inspiration, late-night ideas, and unpredictable schedules, while a non-artist often thrives on stability and routine. This contrast can lead to some friction, especially when the artist is deep in creative mode and their partner just wants to know what time dinner is. The artistic mind doesn’t clock out at 5 PM, and that can be tough for someone who isn’t wired that way.

One of the biggest struggles is understanding priorities. To an artist, creating isn't just a hobby; it’s oxygen. But to a partner outside of that world, it can sometimes look like obsession, distraction, or even avoidance of responsibilities. "Why are you spending hours editing that scene when the garbage still isn’t taken out?" The artist, on the other hand, wonders why their passion isn’t seen as “real work” if it’s not bringing in consistent money. It’s a delicate dance of balancing dreams with reality, passion with partnership, and making sure no one feels like they’re being left behind.

Then there’s the emotional rollercoaster. The highs of a successful project can make an artist feel invincible, while rejection or creative blocks can send them spiraling into doubt. A non-artist spouse might struggle with these intense emotional swings, wondering why their partner can’t just "let it go" and move on. But for the artist, it’s never just about the work—it’s about their identity. Being married to an artist means learning to navigate these emotional waves without getting pulled under, and for the artist, it means remembering that their spouse isn’t a built-in therapist.

So, how do you keep a marriage strong when one person is off chasing inspiration while the other just wants a peaceful weekend? Here are three things that can help:

1. Set clear expectations – Talk about schedules, commitments, and how both partners can feel valued, so neither person feels ignored or misunderstood.
   
   

2. Appreciate each other’s world – The non-artist should take an interest in their partner’s work, and the artist should respect the stability their spouse brings to the relationship.
   
   

3. Create together – Even if one person isn’t an artist, finding small creative projects to share can bridge the gap and strengthen the bond. Whether it's planning a trip, decorating a space, or just making a ridiculous inside joke—creativity isn’t just for the artist, it's for the marriage.
   
   

At the end of the day, love is its own art form. It takes patience, compromise, and a whole lot of rewrites, but when both partners commit to understanding each other’s world, the final masterpiece is worth it.

The Responsibility of an Artist

Artists have a unique responsibility in society as they have the ability to inspire, challenge, and shape cultural norms through their work.

One responsibility of an artist is to create work that is true to their own vision and perspective. This means being true to oneself and not succumbing to external pressures to conform or create work that is popular or profitable, but not authentic.

Another responsibility of an artist is to push boundaries and challenge societal norms through their work. This can include tackling difficult and controversial subject matter and pushing the boundaries of traditional art forms and mediums.

Artists also have a responsibility to use their platform and influence to raise awareness about important social and political issues. They can use their art as a form of activism and raise awareness about issues such as poverty, inequality, and social justice.

Additionally, artists have a responsibility to give back to their communities and to support other artists. This can include mentoring young artists, participating in community art projects, and supporting small independent galleries and art spaces.

In summary, artists have a unique responsibility to be true to their own vision, to challenge societal norms, and to use their platform to raise awareness about important issues to give back to their communities and support other artists.  

Listen to Charles Andrew Payne talk about the responsibility of an artist and more!

LINK:  https://youtu.be/78G63QhJ_mA

Instagram marketing can be a powerful tool for businesses, as it allows you to reach a large and engaged audience. Here are some tips for mastering Instagram marketing:

Develop a clear marketing strategy: Before you start posting on Instagram, it's important to have a clear understanding of your goals and target audience. This will help you create content that resonates with your audience and helps you achieve your marketing objectives.


Create high-quality, visually appealing content: Instagram is all about visuals, so it's important to put effort into creating eye-catching content. This can include photos, videos, and graphics that showcase your products or services in an attractive way.


Use hashtags and geotags to increase visibility: Hashtags and geotags help your content get discovered by people who are interested in your industry or location. Use relevant hashtags and geotags to increase the chances that your content will be seen by the right people.

Engage with your audience: Instagram is a social platform, so it's important to interact with your followers. Respond to comments, answer questions, and share user-generated content to build a community around your brand.

Analyze and track your performance: Use Instagram's built-in analytics or third-party tools to track the performance of your posts and stories. This will help you understand what's working and what's not, and make adjustments to your strategy accordingly.

By following these tips and staying up to date with the latest trends and best practices, you can effectively use Instagram to reach and engage your target audience.

Breaking down the Homelessness Crisis in America

Unless you've experienced homelessness, it's very difficult to explain it to someone who's always had a roof over their head, however, it's necessary in order to evoke change. So how do we do that? Well, first you must find those that have been helping for many years and engage with them in a meaningful way. I can't think of anyone better than Bobby Watts to explain the challenges and inspire change within the social justice space.

Bobby Watts is the chief executive officer of the National Health Care for the Homeless Council, which supports the 300 federally funded Health Care for the Homeless programs and 100 Medical Respite providers with training, technical assistance, sharing of best practices, research, publications, and an active policy and advocacy program working to eliminate homelessness.

We were very honored that Bobby agreed to visit us at the Counterparts Show. We had a great time not only getting to appreciate his journey but also learning about subsidized housing and some of the challenges we're facing in the fight to end homelessness.

As someone who's experienced homelessness, I recommend watching and sharing this episode and reaching out if you need any assistance or know someone who does. Thank you to Bobby and everyone at the Council for the amazing work they do. Visit https://nhchc.org/ to learn more.

Watch the Counterparts episode with Bobby Watts here: www.counterpartsshow.com

Thank you and don't forget our Livestream show is every Tuesday at 7PM Central / 8PM EST.

Business Drowning? This episode is the life preserver to save it!

 We've become so accustomed to seeing business gurus shouting how you can be as great as they are if you just behave how they do.  Nothing wrong with it. It's a style but it's so refreshing to listen to a road-tested professional with tremendous statistics discuss workable strategies to improve your business without yelling, YOU GOTTA GRIND BITCH!!!, once.  Well, we got that and then some when Rafferty Pendery visited the Counterparts Show Tuesday, September 6th 2022.  www.counterpartsshow.com  

The following is borrowed from his websites.  https://www.raffertypendery.com/  https://www.studio98.com/

"He started his first company at the age of 11 and has not lost his love of business since.

Rafferty has worked on projects with NASA and the Canadian Space Agency and co-authored research papers on using online technology to create public awareness and participation in analog research projects. This has earned him a spot as one of the youngest members of the prestigious Explorers Club.

He founded an online marketing firm 10 years ago which has serviced a wide range of businesses ranging from small and mid-sized companies to Fortune 500’s. Through acquisitions and the creation of new ventures, he now owns a group of 6 companies with staff and clients all over the world.

His companies have done work for brands such as Time Warner, Ashley Furniture, Super Shuttle, Red Bull, Hilton, Humana, Double Tree, Mizuno, HP, and many more.

He is an international speaker who has helped thousands of businesses around the world with organization, expansion strategies, social media, and online PR and marketing."

As you can see, he's a powerhouse in building strategies to help any business worldwide.  In the next few days, we'll be sharing some golden nuggets he gave us that I know will help anyone who wants to improve their reach in their current business or just maybe start that business you've been dreaming about for years.  There is really no better time to start a business than today!

Thank you to everyone that watched the episode!  Watch the show LIVE every Tuesday at 7pm Central 8PM EST where we Spotlight Conversation with Creative Minds.  Visit www.counterpartsshow.com  

Born and Raised in The Bronx! Counterparts Show

 Yo!!!  You from Da Bronx!!??  Nice!  Welcome!  Our first episode on The Bronx from our show Counterparts was a ton of fun but we felt we barely scratched the surface.  What did you expect, we had a lifetime of memories and experiences to cover.  We will be doing a part 2 for sure.  

In the episode, we covered the building I grew up in called Chester Hall.  The address was 1058 Southern Blvd.  A beautiful pre-war building that was considered luxury living back in the 30s.  During my time living there, it was a well-kept and clean build.  Unfortunately, the years and the landlords were not kind to it and it fell under deep dispare. I am happy to report, that Chester Hall is getting a facelift and hopefully full renovation.  One of my bucket list items is to visit the building and enter the apartments I lived in.  410, 304, and 503.  

Maybe take some pictures and pay honor to the space where my creative energy was developed.  In part 2 of our Bronx series, we will cover more of the history of the boro and talk about how my grandparents kept me out of trouble.  Maybe I'll tell the story a few breakdancing stories.  Stay tuned!  

The company that built 1058 Southern Blvd or Chester Hall as I remember calling it, was called A-Re-Co (American Real Estate Company) and the neighborhood had quite a few of these buildings that were all built between 1908 - 1912. Apparently, A-Re-Co bought the last farmland. The neighborhood was known as Areco for decades. These were all built about the exact time the subway lines reached Hunts Point.

I like sharing this picture cause it was taken during the time when I was living in that building behind the train. 1058 Southern Blvd in The South Bronx!! If you lived around here during the 80s let me know! (right)


To contact us or see some of our shows, Visit our page: www.counterpartsshow.com

They are Starving for your Potential

 Remember you become a serious threat to those who can't bring you down to their level. They secretly hate you for it but they might hang around you in the hopes that they can slow you down from winning. Some don't even know they're doing it. They just can't imagine winning at the levels you're striving for. It's not real to them so it shouldn't be real to you. They will try to make you think it's not real. It's a sad fact that negative people don't know their negative. They blame others for everything bad in their lives and take no responsibility for any of it. Do NOT allow one ounce of your potential and drive to be stolen by someone with very low or no potential or drive. JHS

Hang Tight Earthlings! It will be Glorious!

 When you're afraid that someone will ruin your plans of deceiving a civilization, you must shut them down at all costs. And if they don't go away, then you must scream, threaten, cheat, and lie to make sure they can never again participate in preventing their destructive plans and their criminal activities. Especially their money flows.

But these poor souls don't realize that the criminal wants to get caught and will continue to make mistakes and say stupid things in that direction. They can't help to get tongue-tied or let a little truth slip out when they're speaking. We laugh at it but it's really a sad thing to witness. Someone who can't confront those they are lying to will stumble as so much video footage has proven. Of course, these criminals control how this info gets distributed to millions, so it gets manipulated. Many are still under a veil of lies, but many more, and I mean MANY MORE, have removed this veil to take a closer look and now know that something is wrong. It doesn't take long to see something isn't right. For me, the viewpoint shift happened in 2018 and it took about 2 days of reading and listening to someone and then seeing things for myself. Seeing it was huge and in just 2 days, I realized I had been duped for most of my life. I can only pray and hope that more people will take the time to lift that veil slightly and see what's there. Just give it chance to see the information.

The next 18 months will be glorious but very scary to many who haven't lifted the veil and those that don't even believe there is a veil will become very dangerous and destructive people. Stay away from them and protect your family and friends. God bless you all. JHS

www.counterpartsshow.com 

   

The Kool-Aid is cold and ready!!

I don't like the political game but I'm fascinated by the lack of full education on the issues. Everyone has half the story and some of it is wrong. They hear snippets here and there and draw one conclusion based on it. The media outlets together decide the buzzwords of the day and they use it to get the people under a spell. Just go to YouTube and check out the videos of the major networks doing this. It's pretty crazy. Word for word! My favorite is, "This a danger to our democracy" Type that into YouTube and see the kool-aid being prepared for you.

I use to question everything when I was young in the South Bronx. Someone once said that rock and roll is a fad and will be going away soon. They said dance music was taking over. Some other dope said Rap would never become mainstream. I thought that was crap. I knew it was going to be around for a long time. But whenever I would ask where did they hear this, They would say said MTV or some news channel. They had nothing but the news media. Just what someone told them. This, of course, being pre-internet where all the truth can now be found ;) it was easier to argue a good point. Today you can't argue because there are so many half-truths being thrown out there that people get hypnotized and can't even see a POSSIBILITY that someone is rigging the game and not using the whole truth. I'm sorry to say but the game is rigged, my friends. I can't even imagine what we would be listening to today on the radio If CNN was around back then!! JHS

Kick-Ass Successful Actions

The core of my upcoming book are these 10 actions for success that I wrote in 2013.  I was coming out of two of the roughest years of my life and I thought to myself, what are the basic components I use in my life that I've always followed that bring me happiness?  Then I tried to find out, what are the components of my life that when I violate them, my survival goes down and it brings me misery?   After asking myself these 2 questions, I started coming up different items which eventually ended up being this list.  I'm sure more can be added but these work just fine for me and I feel they cover every important aspect of life.  Of course, I'm not perfect.  I try to follow these!  I don't always succeed but having them has made a big difference in my life and has brought me comfort.  I would like to share them here with you now.

My 10 Successful Actions.

1. If you're unhappy with your current situation, change it. Something can be done about it.

2. Don't hate anyone for being successful even if the work isn't your cup of tea.

3. Surround yourself with people that will motivate and inspire you and always motivate and inspire others. Those that don't find value in what you're doing don't matter so don't pay any attention to them. They will go away eventually when they realize they can't win.

4. Don't be afraid to promote your work and do it often. If you believe in what you're doing, that will communicate to others. Remember, this is Show Business so showing your business is part of the game. Can you name that famous person that never promoted anything? Me neither.

5. If you're having problems or feel stuck, ask someone you trust for some
help or advice. But never ask someone to give you work because you have a
relationship with them. And always make yourself available to help
someone.

6. Take time every day to do some personal enhancement. It can be a new
course, read a book on your art or life, a seminar. Learn something new
every day.

7. Find a solid platform for life that works for you and that you're willing to die
for. It can be a religion, a faith, belief or a philosophy of life that gives you
tools to improve your conditions and help you reach your goals.

8. Be true and honest with your partner. Get them on your side and helping you
achieve your success. At the same time help reach their goals too. You
should never have to convince a partner or anyone to help you succeed.

9. Use your time wisely. We have 168 hours in one week. After we sleep, eat
and commute we are left with anywhere between 50 and 70 hours. With
that time you need to spend time with family and work on your goals. It's
plenty of time. If you're working more hours or you feel it's not enough
time, then please refer back to # 1 on this list.

10.Take care of yourself. Eat foods that will give you energy and take good
quality supplements if needed. You need to be able to control the body at
will and make it do things. Sometimes you might be tired and want to veg
out as some say but the only goal a vegetable has is to be cut up in a salad
then devoured. Don't be devoured! Move!

Chasing Butterflies with Someone Else's Net.

How many epiphanies can one man have before finally getting comfortable with not giving a shit about epiphanies?  Well, apparently a lot!  I for one have had more AH HA moments than I can count but it's always lead me to the next AH HA moment.  But I guess that's part of living a life of purpose and always having to readjust your big boy pants and keep moving.  Purpose!  I'm not really sure how someone goes through life without purpose but believe me, it happens.  I know this to be a fact because it seems to keep happening to me!  I'm not saying I don't have a purpose but I seem to get sidetracked by someone else's purpose and when I've finally had enough, I get the AH HA moment which has become quite famous in my home.  I run around the house yelling, "AH HA!!  I GOT IT!!" My wife just looks at me now and says, "You said that before and I always agree with you so why don't you just keep doing that!"

Well, last week I had another one!  Ok Ok!!  I'm sorry but this time it's different!  I swear!  This time I'm remembering it clearly and documenting it here in this blog so the world can read it and call me out on it next time I try to bring to fruition someone else's dreams.  Now don't get me wrong, I want to help others find their way but not at the expense of my happiness or the risk of losing opportunities.  Those lost opportunities are also people I could've helped and didn't because I was chasing butterflies with someone else's net.

This is my advice.  Wake up in the morning and think about the one thing you would want to do that day.  Now don't get cute and say sleep or coffee.  Really think about it and find out what's the one thing that you would love to do more than anything else.  When you find what it is, write it down on a piece of paper and stare at it.  Really look at it.  What will you feel?  Are you in pain by it or happy because it's what you're getting ready to spend your day doing?  It's at this moment when you will either make the biggest decision in your life or just put it aside and make excuses because you have bills to pay.  The hard fact is that most people won't even write it down.  The thought alone is painful enough.  All I can say is that you're heading towards a life of pain and struggle if you don't at least take a look at it.  You don't have to radically change your life (although it might be a good idea) but you can start making a plan to move towards your goal and passion.  Save the piece of paper and work on it.  Find people who do what you want to do and ask them for help.  You'd be surprised how many are willing to help.  I know I would be flattered if I were asked to help someone find a life living and working in their passion.  I hope the best for all of you.  JHS

Two IMPORTANT Items to apply on your Journey...

If you’re about to venture on an exciting trip, like the one I’m currently on, but you’re terrified, well, join the club! But also remember that it’s not you that’s afraid. It’s the idea that others will know you're afraid and might try to discourage you. This sometimes comes as a playful dig to you by someone that loves you but it still creates the same effect. It creates doubt which leads to fear. Just know that the fear is exterior to you as a spiritual being so that means it’s not part of you. Someone else created that fear and you accepted it as your own. It’s created somewhere else. If you eat some nasty fast food and get a stomach ache then that’s you because you allowed it to enter your body. You have control to NOT let fear enter your body or your mind in this case. Here are two simple tools that I follow every single day. The first thing that I apply is that I’m organized with my daily goals and I keep moving forward no matter what enters my space or like Dory sings in Finding Nemo, Just keep swimming Just keep swimming. If you’re moving forward at all times then someone who's trying to prevent you from succeeding will just have to either move over or you can run them over and they’ll become roadkill and then you can look in your rearview mirror and giggle. Yes, I intended that to be rather cruel and dramatic because it is and you shouldn’t put up with anyone trying to prevent your happiness. Family members and close friends tend to be the biggest culprits in this area. Look for it, stay organize and keep moving! The second thing I apply is to stay focus on your daily goals. You should have at least one item that you want to accomplish every single day towards a goal. That’s right. 7 days a week 365 days a year. It can be as simple as emailing someone with an idea or just studying a book, article or film for an hour. It’s not impossible to do and once you start you’ll be amazed at how much time you have to spend with your true friends and supportive family.  This is not always easy but necessary if you want to have the kind of life that YOU control. Your job as a living breathing spiritual being is to find solutions to problems and not make excuses. You will always have problems but how you confront them will judge how well you do in life. People who make excuses for a living never reach their full potential of ability or happiness and that is tragic. A person’s happiness can be measured by how far they can see into the future and then reach for it. Just standing idle staring at it will not get you there. So move!  Thank you for your time.  JHS
www.johnhenrysoto.com

I Grew up in the Ghetto and I don't use it as an Excuse to not Produce....

I know that's a long title but like I said I have no excuses to NOT produce so I produced a nice long title for you.  You're welcome.  So why am I writing about growing up in the South Bronx during one of the darkest days of that community?  70s 80s and 90s.  Well, because it goes hand in hand with just about anyone who's looking for excuses to not have to work hard to produce and just "Take it easy."  In my case, I could have used the excuse of growing up poor and in a violent neighborhood or not getting a good education etc... and you what, people around me would have supported that viewpoint and never push me to reach for more.  Shame on them!  Accountability was lost when I was growing up.  We just weren't expected to live long enough to achieve anything so they tried to make us feel better by excusing our laziness and lack of effort and candy coat their excuses by calling it "support".  That's so messed up.  So today, when someone throws a line out at me like, "Don't work so hard." or "Take it easy." it drives me a little batty because I remember what it took to get out of the South Bronx and extinguish the ghetto mentality that was instilled by a scared community.  And the sacrifices.  A lot of sacrifices.  Now, don't get me wrong, There's a big part of the South Bronx in my heart and I have a lot of love and admiration for the neighborhood.  I just refuse to use that experience as an excuse to not try to reach for the stars. Ok, maybe that's a little corny but it's heartfelt and really the main reason why I don't let anyone get away with making excuses that sound super lame.  I hear it all the time and I make sure I comment on it because I feel it's my responsibility to help them see what I've worked so hard to see.  And that is, the control you have on your future is based on the actions you decide to take today and not the hand you were dealt.  Take a really close and honest look at the actions you take towards your future.  Are they exactly what you should be doing?  If things don't work out are you using a million excuses to justify those actions?  And lastly, can you see movement towards your goals or are you sitting in your excuses.  You need to seriously look at that.  I want you to have a chance.  A chance to create exactly what you want.  You deserve it and you can do it.  Thank you for your time.  JHS
www.johnhenrysoto.com

The Admiration of it All...

To find happiness, you must admire living.  That means all of it.  The bad and the worst not to mention the so messed up that you want to kick kittens.  (Don't kick kittens)  It's so easy to walk around and love life when things are great.  Admiration of the struggle can feel just as good as loving everything because your lover is loving you lovely.  The present moment is where people fall behind.  They forget that life is based on a series of moments back to back to back and so on.  It never stops.  Not even after you're dead.  A dead corpse is decaying one moment to the next and who knows how long that process goes on a molecular level.  So the key is to always be in this moment and that moment that's about to arrive.  If you're walking into your office, then walk into it as if it's the first time.  Admire that moment.  This is not easy and most of you will roll your eyes when you read this but just admire that you read this, admire the moment and admire your sarcastic rolling eyes.  Because that moment existed whether you were aware of it or not. It happened.  And you know what, I admired the moment you rolled your eyes.  Thank you.  JHS
The photo is a mold of my hand holding my wife's hand.  
www.johnhenrysoto.com 

I'm Walking here!!! I'm F#$%ing walking here!!!

The moment when you have to explain to someone what you're working on and how it will lead to money is the single most depressing moment to me.  Not because I don't have a clear view of what I'm striving for but because the person asking, 9 out of 10 times are so blind to who I am and what I stand for that it's depressing.  Especially, family and close friends.  Well, here's the punchline.  It doesn't matter.  The bottom line is that if your work is so amazing, then it will speak for itself.  The only time you need to explain yourself is when you're not creating content that's clear enough or creating the impact and earning you a living.  But why explain anything anyway?  Fuck them!  Some will never get it!  It's all the person's viewpoint and the ability to perceive what's happening in the environment and not everyone has this ability.  One person's viewpoint might linger in an endless stream of not knowing and unfortunately, there's no saving them but the other guy might fully duplicate and perceive the intention simply by walking into your space.  No words needed.  It's not even fair to go into an explanation for some because they might hurt their cerebrum and who knows what kind of damage you can do. 

But, this journey is confusing for those that are not on it and that's totally fine.  Keep trucking and if someone asks you to explain why you're doing this or what are you doing, just yell, "I'm Walking Here!!  I'm F#$%ing Walking Here!!"  then just walk away.  It will make a great story for them and you'll save valuable time to use to grow your business. JHS 

www.johnhenrysoto.com